A "yucky week"

I hate to use this blog as a place to vent, however I have been having a really hard time this past week. April is a really hard month for me. In addition to the huge amounts of work professors throw at us as the school year comes to an end, it is the birthday of someone who I have lost and it is also the anniversary of my parents divorce. Recently, I have been dealing with the drama and stress that comes with doing Crew. I have found myself crying way to much for my own good. Suffice to say, April showers bring May flowers, I just have to get passed April. In Crew, I haven't been able to participate in seat racing, which has bugged me so much. I feel like my coach isn't even giving me a chance to get into a better boat, and I am stuck in the third varsity boat (just like during the fall). Even though Crew is stressing the H-E double hockey sticks out of me (can you guess what word that spells) I think I need to accept that April is just not a great month for me. I also was not chosen as an Admission Tour Guide. I feel like, April is a reminder of all the people who didn't choose me. For example, my parents didn't choose to stay together for me. Then when I am not chosen to be in a better boat in Crew, it is just another person not choosing me (hopefully this makes some sense, if not you have to excuse my brain fart).

Can this month just be over with already?

After writing 75 thank you notes, I think it's safe to say that I haven't turned into one of those "glass half full" people 24-7 (I have noticed a change in self, just not 24-7). Reality is, the thank you cards have given me a time to reflect on good things that happen to me daily, however this past week I have found myself slipping back into my bad habits, saying that "I suck" and beating myself up at every possible second. 

Hoping for a productive tomorrow and starting the next week out on a strong note, but remembering that this month is sucky, but I don't have to make it anymore sucky then it already is. 

On a side note, if you have any funny websites or youtube videos, please send them my way, I am in desperate need of a good laugh and some procrastination. Also if you want to grab coffee or watch a movie, text me or fb message me:-)

To whomever just read this, thank you!