Big changes

Lots of change have happened this past week. What I have realized through all this change is that there is a lot to be grateful about. Here is what happened.

 On Monday afternoon my phone was blowing up with text messages and calls from my mother and from Marie. In between RA training meetings, I listened to one of the messages. The first one was from my mom. In the message she said “Your father is in the ICU, call me back. We need to get you to Boston to see him immediately as this might be the last time you see him”. As I listened to the message, I broke down. I had no details about him except, that he was in the ICU dying. I called my mom right back. My mom and I haven’t been on speaking terms for many reasons. Also since my parents divorce my parents haven’t spoken. I knew at this time I had to rise above it and call her. She gave me more details saying that he had fallen and had a seizure. Luckily Jim, my dad’s boyfriend, was there at the time and called 911. He was rushed to the emergency room, where he kept seizing. He also got pneumonia. Because of the recurring seizures a breathing tube was inserted and he was heavily sedated. He stayed this way for a couple of days as the doctors and nurses ran many tests on him. During this time he was responding to doctors by moving his toes, but besides that he was out of it. On Tuesday his breathing tube was taken out and he was breathing on his own. However, at this point he was heavily sedated and not coming out of it. On Wednesday, he started waking up. I was proud that my mom put aside her problems with my dad and was there by his side when he woke up. When I arrived on Thursday my dad had been moved to a regular floor and was talking but still having lots of trouble walking. However, what I saw when I went was that he was slowly going back to his normal self, and by this I mean joking with the nurses and talking on the phone extensively. When I was there the neurologist came in to talk to him. At this point I learned that he had a seizure in November as well. Are the two related? We don’t know. The Doctor has taken him off a certain medication he was on, that had a side effect of seizures. However, he has been on this medication for 3 years, and the seizures he had were so spread apart. Again, I am not a doctor, sometimes I think I am after watching Grey’s Anatomy, but I can’t diagnose him. As a result of his seizure, by state law, my dad won’t be able to drive for 6 months. When leaving the hospital my dad is deciding between having house nurses or checking into a rehabilitation center. The Doctor said that he will be let go on Labor Day.

 When I arrived, my dad broke down in tears seeing me, telling me how scared he was and that he saw the white light at one point. He later told me how happy he was to see me. We spent the day sitting in his room talking and watching Real Housewives of New York City. One point during the day he told me that he really loved his new boyfriend and was planning on moving in with him after he gets out. I am happy that my dad has found love again and that he will be living with someone so if something like this ever happens again, someone else will be there. However, this is a big change! I haven’t met Jim yet, and now my dad is moving from Wellfleet, my home to live with him. This is also my dads first serious relationship since my parents divorce.

During my time there I asked how Buddy (our dog) was, my dad broke down in tears again. He said that Buddy, who has been battling liver cancer for almost a year now, is bleeding again which is a sign that the tumor is growing very quickly. Since my dad won’t be able to drive and Buddy is getting very sick, my dad has decided we will be putting Buddy down when he leaves the hospital. This is very hard for me. Buddy was always my dog, and when my parents divorced he was my “Buddy” through it all. He was one thing that stayed the same when my parent’s divorced (if that makes any sense). I can’t believe I will be putting him down. My dad and I both cried throughout the day thinking about Buddy and how much we will miss him. I want to think down in my heart I know that Buddy is in lots of pain and putting him down is for the best, but it is taking a while to find it. 

This has been a rough week to say the least, but the amount of support I have gotten from friends has amazed me. People sending such kind words was very much appreciated. Lots of people asked me to let them know if I needed anything. However, I am a person who struggles to reach out to people when I need help. Usually I just hide and cry a lot. In addition to all the people who called and wrote such nice words on Facebook, I am especially grateful for a couple of people in particular.

Christine- Chris was the assistant to my college counselor when I was in High School. However, she became like another mother to me during my years in high school. Since graduating we have kept in touch on Facebook and a little bit over the phone. When she got wind of my dad not doing well she called me and together we decided I needed to go see him. Sure getting to the hospital by bus wasn’t impossible, it was actually pretty easy. However, just by talking with me she could tell getting there wasn’t the problem, she knew I needed that emotional support of someone to go with. She took off a day from work to drive me to the Cape from Boston to see my dad. Although our reunion was under horrible circumstances, seeing her was the best medicine. I have missed her so much. The whole ride to the Cape we laughed so much, that I forgot all about the past week and why we were even heading there. The plan was for her to drive me back to Boston, however my dad asked me to stay and there was no way I would abandoned him. 

Megan- Megan got me to the Springfield bus stop and is going to pick me up when I return. By getting me to the bus stop she got me that closer to seeing my dad. She was there for me this whole week. Getting me food if I missed a meal, I couldn’t be more grateful to have her as a friend. 

Marianna- Marianna was there when I first got the news. She saw my eyes tear up and right away gave me the biggest hug. She comforted me that afternoon and checked up on me throughout the week despite the other engagements she had to attend to for RA training. Marianna didn’t asked me if I needed anything, she just gave me love and reached out to me to do things which is what I needed.