23 going on 40

Hey! It's been a while. I need to get into blogging more regularly, but life kind of takes over. Something I  will always try to blog about is my birthday, which is today. It's great to go back a read entries from the last few years. Birthdays are hard for me. Too much attention or not enough. Read previous blog posts to understand why they are so hard for me. To make things even more exciting (sarcasm) this year, I am in a new city. Oh and I'm supposed to work tonight. The last few days I have been trying to treat myself to shows and seeing friends. I'm not putting hopes on one big birthday bash where all my friends from everywhere come and party because that's not possible. I also am trying to let go of thinking about all of those who don't recognize me today (especially if I recognized them on their birthdays) and focus on all the love that is being brought my way through phone calls, text messages, emails, fb posts, etc.. Focusing on what I have not what I don't. Hmmmmm easier said than done. 

Yesterday at lunch, a new friend turned to me and asked how old I was turning, when I told her she said "wow I can't believe you just graduated from college in May you have achieved so much and have your life together." I laughed.  But at a matinee earlier that day someone who I spoke with for 2 minutes said the same thing. Me, my life together?!? I started thinking about everything that has happened this past year as a 22 year old (cue Taylor Swift): Graduated from college, got a job, moved to Boston, became Kathie Lee and Hoda's fan of the week, lost my job, moved to NYC, got a job (well four), lost some friends, made new friends, and ran a marathon. Geeze. What a year? Those highs were high, but those lows were LOW! Some days I couldn't get out of bed. I still struggle with keeping it all together. But looking back, I am grateful for this last year because I really notice a growth in myself, one that I haven't seen in past years. 

Still whenever someone says "You have your life together", I can't help but laugh. I'm still figuring things out. Maybe I have my life together in some people's eyes, but what I see is someone who has grown. And since today is the one day I can brag about myself (look it up in the book of life) I'm proud of myself for my personal growth this past year.

Now what the heck does being 23 have in store for it? I have no idea! In the meantime I plan to live each day to its fullest and know that the lows that happen in life only make me stronger (oy, I sound like Oprah). In the more immediate future, I see cake and some shows, because today I'm celebrating me--- the good, the bad and ugly.